Posts by Tea drinker

35

They "can give gifts on any day of the year"... But do they?

by Albert Einstein in

jw
friends

how many times we had heard from jw (commenting on christmass, mothers day or bithdays) "they dont need a pecial day set to give gifts, because the can give it on any day" .... but whats your experience if you compare jw and non jw ... are they really giving?.

my sons (7) example:.

he has non jw grandparents: gets all kinds of gifts all the time, sweets, magazines, toys,.

Tea drinker

A relative of mine once took several bags of presents to a family that had two little girls. Upon reaching the door she was told that the children were just going to bed. One of the little girls joyfully cried out "presents" when she saw my relative but she was told to go back upstairs. The mother took the bags without so much as a smile or a thank you.

What really hurt my relative was that she did not even receive a card, a note or even a verbal "thanks" even though this family sat behind our row regularly at the Kingdom Hall.

50

Did You Ever Secretly "Sin" & The Elders Never Knew About It?

by minimus in

jw
friends

we, as elders, would every so often give a little talk about keeping the congregation clean and that if anyone felt the need to talk to us, to get whatever is bothering them off their chest, we would be readily available to them.

you'd be shocked to see how many would tell us some naughty things they were feeling guilty about.. i'm sure there were plenty of smart people who simply kept quiet and didn't say a word.. here's your opportunity to tell us what you wouldn't tell them..

Tea drinker

Oh yes.

I was constantly intimate with a former non-Witness girlfriend of mine who I was "bringing into the 'truth.'" I would often spend the night at her place and she at mine (though at my place we had to keep one eye out for family members walking in).

Unbelievably, we never went all the way as I had a great deal of self-control. I could kick myself now!

12

Does anyone play an instrument just for fun?

by keeshondgirl in

i like to play the piano, the drums, and i am teaching myself to play the flute.. i can play the trumpet too but i have to practice it more..

Tea drinker

I play the piano and the pipe organ.

17

real fake friends

by diamondiiz in

i wondered how did your "best" jw friends react to when you told them you're leaving wts?.

after i found out all i needed to know i called up my old friend who i thought was a good friend but i knew he was a die hard dub and i told him to write down a book and read it.

i was refering to russell's thy kingdom come.

Tea drinker

I have not been to a meeting for a few months now but whenever I see a Witness they are courteous enough and small-talk is generally made. Some members of my family have been treated rather shoddily this past year so I am using that as a cover to fade.

A good elder friend of mine stepped down a few years ago, married a non-Witness and moved far far away (she is now attending meetings though). Needless to say he was treated badly by many members of the congregation before he moved and people even made verbal jabs at him during the Watchtower studies. When he found out that I was not going to meetings, and that I had no intention of going back, he wrote me a long letter saying that he loved me and my family for coming to terms with his decisions in a non-judgemental way, that we were a true Christian family, that I was free to disagree with him and his advice and that it would not affect our friendship one bit.

As you can imagine, I was touched by this true friendship. I have not spoken to many about my disputes with regard to doctrine (of which there are many) and plan to keep it that way unless intolerably pressed. If it does come to me being outed as an apostate I don't know what he will do but I'm hoping that he will continue to display the same attitude (he was always a thinker rather than a follower and was never afraid to debate the rights and wrongs of the society's views with me).

It does appear that true friends can be found within the Witnesses.........I hope.

28

Assembly Survival Techniques

by KingAgag in

jw
friends

i told my wife some time back that i would fade, and i compronised that i'd still attend the memorials and assemblies (at least for now).

november 1st is the 'special' assembly day.

she said she doesn't care if i listen or not, it is more to help her with the baby.

Tea drinker

I just used to sit there reading the Bible. I read it through once a year and used to use assemblies as a marathon reading session so that I could then have a couple of weeks off to spend more time reading other things.

I sometimes used to help with other people's children too. This allowed me to draw pictures for them (well, for relieving my boredom really) or take them for a walk around the grounds.

I like the new name by the way.

27

don't marry that unbaptized meeting going sister, or loose your privileges

by DaCheech in

i've got one of those forever single friend.. he tries to be friends with every kind of "spiritual" sister out there.

they use him for gifts, rides, and paying their diner meals when the friends go out.. he's in his late 40's and has himself been used by 5 sisters in a 15 years span.. he says he's found a good one, but she goes to meetings and is studying the "troof".

his elders and nosybody acquantences have told him to lay off of her until she's baptized and then some (2-3 years for prooving herself in the lord) or else loose his priviliges.. i tried to nonchalantly telling him that was hogwash, but the pharasees have a grip on him.

Tea drinker

Great! What is he waiting for? He's found a nice young lady to court and he gets to jettison his "privileges" at the same time.

Some people have all the luck! I wish that had happened to me while I was still going.

89

Being Under Cult Mind Control is a Psychological Disorder - Steve Hassan

by flipper in

jw
friends

thought perhaps some newer members who haven't heard some of hassan's thoughts on mind control might relate to this from their own experiences in jehovah's witnesses .

even though mind control is initiated by the cult involved in controlling it's members - hassan points out - it actually becomes a psychological disorder which can entrap the victim himself or herself - all the while - as they are being controlled by the leaders of cults.. on page 55 of hassan's book " releasing the bonds - empowering people to think for themselves " it states what happens in a destructive cult , " in a destructive cult, the locus of control shifts to the group or it's leader .

the new recruit abdicates his ability to make decisions.

Tea drinker

Wow MisfitMel, I can relate to much of what you say. I have a broad range of interests including science. The Awake! occasionally caught my interest as it did yours but the meetings and conventions were always a bore to me: I had a friend that I used to sit with as a child and we would always be irritated at the fact that nobody else seemed to be having as miserable a time as us.

The morality micromanagement always grated me too: I had a confrontation with an elder's wife over a choice of film; her husband had declared it off-limits.

This is a great thread and I can see how being under cult mind control can be classified as being a mental disorder. Even when I was "fully in" I was utterly infuriated by the mindless compliance which so many otherwise intelligent and discerning individuals displayed; even discussion of the relative pros and cons of the Watch Tower's position on a matter sometimes led to the extreme discomfort of those I was talking to; even supporting the Watchtower position in a round-about way from a different slant than the one the Watchtower offered led to suspicious/frightened looks--insane. I suppose it was one of the things that led to my awakening.

89

Being Under Cult Mind Control is a Psychological Disorder - Steve Hassan

by flipper in

jw
friends

thought perhaps some newer members who haven't heard some of hassan's thoughts on mind control might relate to this from their own experiences in jehovah's witnesses .

even though mind control is initiated by the cult involved in controlling it's members - hassan points out - it actually becomes a psychological disorder which can entrap the victim himself or herself - all the while - as they are being controlled by the leaders of cults.. on page 55 of hassan's book " releasing the bonds - empowering people to think for themselves " it states what happens in a destructive cult , " in a destructive cult, the locus of control shifts to the group or it's leader .

the new recruit abdicates his ability to make decisions.

Tea drinker

I have noticed great differences since leaving (truly mentally out for 9 months and have not been to a meeting for 4-5 months). The difference has not been so much in my mental thought processes but more of a weight lifted; cognitive dissonance was a heavy burden to bear and it is only its absence which has made me realise this.

As for independent thinking etc., I can relate very much to what Steve Hassan states but to a more limited degree than many Witnesses I have encountered. Even though I was born into the Witnesses I have always had an independent mind and questioned things even as a small child: family members would half jokingly call me an apostate whenever I would object to a line of reasoning contained in one of the society's articles (no matter how watertight my logic was nor how specious the Watchtower reasoning). I suppose that I was a "good Witness" in that I would always place these objections aside in the end due to the mindset that told me "most of the teachings are right so wait on Jehovah."

It was when my independent thinking met up with articles by "worldly" theologians that the cracks really started to appear. I found their eloquence and deep ponderings to be far more stimulating than any Watchtower articles I ever read. It was not long after that I began to question the organisation as a whole.

Of course, another difference is that I can now follow through on my thoughts and come to my own conclusions without being constrained by Watch Tower dogma in any way at all. The independent thinking was always there, and it earned me some horrified and fearful lookes at times, but I always kept it in check to a large degree. Now it just feels wonderful to be able to use my mind fully even if I cannot speak about my thoughts to most of my family who are still in.

6

Intelligent JWs only outside the KH?

by GapingMouth in

jw
friends

hi to everyone out there and thanks for all the amazing posts on here i read every day.. there are a few people in my area that i would consider intelligent - there is one guy who used to be a chemistry teacher, for example.

another one knows his sciences too, and his job revolves around that knowledge.. but he confuses me a little... he knows all this stuff and then at the same time he completely ignores it and casts it aside and says the earth is only 7000 years old.

(yes, he holds to this - he told me himself and grew annoyed when i tried to show that the new wts leave it a little more open for explanation -- the bible agree with science 'special' one for example).

Tea drinker

I know what you mean GapingMouth and I agree that it can be very irritating.

I love conversation and often like to delve deeply into a subject and explore possible avenues of reasoning. I have not had anyone get angry like this person you are talking about but I have had some funny stares (meant to make me feel uncomfortable I suppose) as well as the amusing situation where the Witness has that "deer gazing at the headlights look."

If something is in the Watchtower then it is simply supposed to be accepted. The only "discussion" allowed are statements to the effect of "oh yes, the Society is right, how wonderful that we have the 'faithful slave' to provide such wonderful articles." Anything else will likely end up with you being suspected of heresy.

As for not being able to reason with this man even from the WT view--I just suspect that he is one of those people that always has to be right anyway and gets all emotionally excited when challenged. There are plenty of those in the organisation.

57

I'm new, let me introduce myself

by no lies please in

jw
friends

i've been lurking here for many months.

i served as an elder for many years, and regular pioneer for much longer until recently.

i'm also a mts grad and was used extensively on the circuit and district level.

Tea drinker

Welcome NLP.

Like you, I lurked here for months and have only started posting fairly recently. I also am in the process of fading but people are beginning to ask questions about my now complete absence from meetings. I admit that it is sometimes difficult to bite one's tongue when questioned, especially when they come out with "you know it's the 'truth.'" Hopefully you will be able to handle matters in a way that yield the best results for you. The fact that you have a lot of non-Witness family is a blessing.

I hope things work out for the best for you and I hope that you continue to post here or even just read. Perhaps you will agree with me when I say that I find that this board is great therapy and a good place to come to in order to clear one's head.

All the best.